Is that a stork I hear?

5 Jan

So I’ve been feeling better overall. More good days than bad, and libido is making appearances again. That’s a good thing, considering that that department has taken a particularly hard hit through all of this. But we may have been a bit over-zealous… And now we wait to see if the little plus sign pops up.

Our original plan was to start trying again in June or July this year, so we’d just be a few months ahead of schedule. My little z-baby was a surprise, too. He showed up about four months before we were even planning on trying, and I was still on the pill!

So how do I feel about this? Less worried than I normally would be. Don’t get me wrong…I have concerns. I had extreme morning all day and night sickness with the last pregnancy. I remember thinking that there was no way I could have handled that and taken care of a toddler, too. And I fear another loss — that fear will never go away. And then there is work. Work is a post in itself, but I will say this — it’s hard enough now as it is…I don’t know how I’d do it and I could care less about the work itself these days.

So I guess what I’m saying is that I would be happy to have another little one on the way, but some pretty big things would have to change in our lives to accommodate its arrival. But isn’t life all about change anyway?

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