Transition me

18 Jan

Uncertainty abounds. Sig-o is looking for a job. We’re looking to sell our house and relocate to another city. I’m trying to figure out what to do. And time is running out and I’ll have to make a decision soon. I set my intention at New Years to trust in sig-o’s ability to provide for our family, and I’m there, save a few lapses here and there. As for me… I’ve been leaving the old me behind and constructing a new me from the pieces I wanted to hang on to and those I choose to adopt as my own. No finished product yet, so I guess that makes me a “transition me.” So what does the transition me do in such a situation? Anxiety is up, no doubt, but not quite as bad as with the old me. But there’s still a vacant spot where the rest of the anxiety would be that I’m not sure what to do with. I almost want to be anxious because that is at least familiar. Does that make me an anxiety junkie? Maybe more than that I’m just a bit lost… finding your way through motherhood is hard enough. Depression alone is more anyone should have to endure. Together… well, I guess that’s what makes postpartum depression so insidious. But I suppose I can’t be too hard on myself — it’s easy to get lost when no roadmap exists for your journey.

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2 Responses to “Transition me”

  1. TiaSal February 27, 2010 at 9:45 pm #

    BEST line ever: “it’s easy to get lost when no road exists map for your journey.”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Another peek inside my head « The Vaca Loca Blog - January 26, 2010

    […] 26, 2010 Last week I posted about “transition me,” the right-now me that’s wedged between shedding the old and piecing together the new. […]

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