Practically Paralyzed

31 Mar

I’m supposed to be working. But I can’t. I’m practically paralyzed with anxiety. About what? Everything and nothing.

I’m undoubtedly anxious about the impending life changes ahead of us — new jobs, new town, new home… But even when I can calm those things down inside me, I’m still left jittery, unable to concentrate on tasks at hand. So  I pace. I’m working from home today, so I’ve started some laundry. I go upstairs and then down again. I obsessively check email and websites for new rental properties to pop up throughout the day. My dog thinks I’m crazy and my blood pressure must be WAY up.  You’d think I was strung out on caffeine, but I haven’t had a drop in days.

I feel bad for not working (the goody two shoes in me), but really I want to scream at them, “Shove it up your arse!” I can’t take it anymore…what was I thinking agreeing to work longer? This is awful… I can’t even fake it.

Off to pace some more…


One Response to “Practically Paralyzed”

  1. makemommygosomethingsomething March 31, 2010 at 7:42 pm #

    You have so much stuff going on right now, it’s no wonder that you are having such a rough time!! I would probably be laying in some corner of my house in the fetal position clinging on to a bottle of ativan and wine…I’m not suggesting you do that.

    Like you said, just pace yourself. When things are feeling out of control step back and breathe. Take a walk outside. You can do this!!!!

    Thinking of you,

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