Please dress appropriately

16 Apr

As I’ve mentioned before, sig-o is in the process of becoming a US citizen. To our surprise, the application process has been progressing quickly — we sent in the application at the end of February, and he was fingerprinted just a couple of weeks ago. This week we were shocked to find his interview appointment letter in the mailbox.

The date is set for next month. We poured over the letter to make sure we had all the necessary documents and weren’t overlooking any details. One line in particular caught my eye: “You must be properly attired.” And I’m thinking, “As if they really need to say that. There are enough ways to mess up with la migra… dressing appropriately isn’t at the top of my list.”

We went to see David Sedaris speak this week (who is, by the way, one of the funniest storytellers alive today). While we were waiting for the show to begin, we were admiring the theater and chit-chatting about nothing in particular. Then sig-o turns to me and tells me this story about how last week, he was getting gas and there was this guy at the gas station trying to sell the gas station attendant a suit from the trunk of his car. Sig-o says he started to ask him about it but decided not to and then as he was leaving he saw that they were Armani suits… and now he regrets not asking him how much they were. 

In all honesty, I thought he was joking, and I think I must have laughed out loud at this point. But the look on his face told me otherwise. He said, “You know, I thought I should get it for my interview.” I stared blankly at him. “Because… you know, it says dress appropriately.” At which point I gave up trying to be serious.

First of all, we’re buying clothes at the gas station now? And second of all, I don’t think “properly attired” means “wear an Armani suit.”

He says, “Come on, don’t you think it would look good if I showed up in a nice suit?” I said, “Oh sure. And then they’d probably check the little box beside ‘narco’ (drug trafficker) on your application.” Which he did not find funny. “What’s wrong with a suit? I’m sure people wear them all time.” “Maybe,” I say, “but not a three-piece Armani from a gas station.” This back and forth went on for a bit and then it became clear why he was so offended: he thought I called him naco (tacky, trashy), not a narco. I see where his priorities are. Better to be called a narco than tacky. “Boba,” he said.

I told him that if he wanted to look nice and patriotic, he should pull out that t-shirt that my suegra got him down in Florida with a big American flag on it. Then they would know he was really serious. But that, we both agreed, really would be naco.


One Response to “Please dress appropriately”

  1. Susan April 21, 2011 at 9:19 am #

    This cracks me up. Only a man would even consider buying a suit from a truck at a gas station.

    Hubs and I saw Sedaris in concert recently, too! I’ve never laughed so much in my life. I adore his bit on Santa Claus…and all his stuff about learning French. Oh, and his sister’s parrot. Okay…all his stuff. LOL

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